What Is She Thinking About While You’re Doing It?

It's the age-old question. As you struggle to hold on and not blow too soon, or in the later stages of a relationship, as you think about the rising price of gas at the pumps, what is going through your significant other's mind as you do your best to rock her world? You could just ask her, but is she telling the truth? Would you be completely honest with her? What you need to get to the truth here is a longitudinal study based on anonymous responses. While we may not have huge studies to back up our numbers, there has been enough interest in the topic to be able to make a certain number of statements with some confidence on the subject. Just be warned, once you read this it can't be unread and you may never look at your partner the same way ever again as she allegedly writhes in ecstasy below you.

The top 5 things on her mind

OK, brave one. Read on. Here are the top five things on her mind when you are giving it your all and trying not to blow your stack early at the same time.

She’s thinking about you

It’s true. In one study over 50% of females interviewed stated that most of the time the only thing on their minds was if their partner was enjoying the experience. So what do you do with that information? Let her know you're having a good time in every way you can. Moan, grunt, tell her in words, whatever feels natural to you. 

Her ex

Don’t be shocked. We’ve all done it at some point. It’s not cheating, it’s just monotony. There’s this one fantasy moment you had with an ex that you use when you’re having some alone time. Her ex probably isn't even that guy anymore. When she had her moment he was ripped and ready.

You don’t need to worry about this unless you see the guy slipping out the back door of your house with his pants in one and his shoes in the other. What it does mean, is that you both need to work on making your sex life more interesting and intense, for both your sakes. 

The laundry

If you thought the ex was bad, how about your lover cheats on you in her head with a basket of piled-up dirty laundry? A significant percentage of women have thought about chores or regularly think about chores while doing it. Their bodies are there but their minds are elsewhere. Probably yours is too. You are mentally out mowing the lawn while you plow her field. Not good!

This is going to be some stale lovemaking that could degenerate into a sexless relationship of resentment and boredom. Don't despair, however. This doesn't mean the relationship is over, it just means you need to get creative and unleash those inner wild things you have buried deep inside. Think sex toys, role-plays, or getting it on in places and scenarios you never would have considered before.

Kinky weird stuff

This is where the anonymous part of any survey is crucial. Women filling out anonymous surveys admit to thinking some of the craziest, filthiest things imaginable when they are doing it. Do you know that one filthy-minded friend of yours who's always a bit sleazy? You know the guy, he's not a bad dude, got a good sense of humor, the Glenn Quagmire of your particular circle of friends. Well compared to your babe, that guy is as clean as a whistle. Statistically at least.

As guys, we tend to think we are the dirty ones, but over the course of the last few decades with taboos about female sexuality dropping left and right, it turns out it's the girls who are the most filthy-minded of all. They're just too civilized and lady-like to admit it.

Hot celebrities

This is inevitable and entirely forgivable. As long as she's not obsessed with some vacuous star, planning to stalk his Beverly Hills mansion on her next vacation, you're good to go. Let's face it, you've probably done the same yourself. It gets the job done, you move on to your next silver screen crush, rinse and repeat.

The likelihood is that you can probably guess with 99% certainty who the guy is. Maybe there’s some scope for roleplay here. Even a little cosplay if the guy plays superhero roles on the big screen. Maybe you will finally get to do your babe in a Wonder Woman or Super Girl outfit after all.

Should you be worried?

It depends. The first step is to find out what it is she's thinking. Keep it light-hearted, don't turn it into an inquisition. Bring up the subject naturally, maybe when it's being discussed on TV or on the radio. See how she reacts. As long as you are both open to discussing it for everyone's mutual benefit, this is a good thing.

Ideally, we should all be in the moment when we are doing it, our full attention fixed right on the person in front (below, or on top of us). But there's more to life than this. A good relationship with open communication is going to take you places you could never have dreamed of if you were always too afraid to open up and ask a few naughty questions.