Are there many couples swinging? Learn all about it
What comes in mind when you think about swingers? Did you know that the word "swinger" means more than just describing people from the '70s. Because yes, swinging is happening nowdays: we're talking about various types of non-monogamy achieving popularity in culture and society. So, it actually might be more typical than you want to admit. And why not - have you ever wanted to try it? Here's what you need to know!
The definition of swinging
According to Zhana Vrangalova, swinging can be described as either behavior or identity - or both. She explains that swinging, as a behavior, means that you can be in a couple or single but you have multiple casual partners.
Most partners who participate in swinging have these sexual experiences together as a couple, on a regular basis. That could mean once a month or however often the couple decides on a "no strings attached" adventure with another couple. There are also swingers resorts where you can meet many people practicing this non-monogamy. Individuals who practice swinging can find other sex partners on various apps, or if you like going out, at different social events, clubs, parties, cruises, and vacations organized for these swinging experiences.
When swinging is an identity, that means that someone identifies as a swinger and is part of the swinger community. It is certain that there is a peak in individuals experiencing swinger behavior, but at the same time, identifying as a swinger is declining. Moreover, the term "swing" is now less popular, as the younger generation prefers other terms like polyamory. Young persons can relate to polyamory, but this identity and behavior are quite different from swinging.
Comparing swinging with other types of non-monogamy
Although swinging is frequently confounded with open relationships and polyamory, swinging is different. Sure, they all are under the big umbrella of non-monogamy, but they vary in the levels of emotional or sexual implication: are the partners just engaging sexually, or is there an emotional connection?
What's more, the key distinction is that swingers have one committed relationship, but polyamory means having multiple partners and being in multiple relationships at the same time. Swingers might do mild or full swaps with other couples occasionally, but in the mean time, they are still exclusive with their main partner. Plus, swinging is different from an open relationship, where partners have their own sexual adventures outside their primary partnership. Why? Because swingers mostly play together. In swinging, couples are looking for pleasure, engagement, and connection with other couples. That is not the only way to do it, tough, because some prefer to do it separately and everyone has boundaries of course. It's more about the "bedroom" is open, but not the relationship: sexually but not romantically.
Meeting new partners can be facilitated through apps like Feeld, Bumble or Tinder but it's also possible to meet them in organizations and events or through mutual friends. People get into swinging because they like to experiment, especially after a long monogamous relationship. The first experiences are always remembered but there are interesting ones along the way, and sometimes real experiences can be different from fantasies.
Because the swingers are real people with specific desires and sometimes these meetings don't go as planned, that's why it's important to be clear about your boundaries. Ultimately, it's an exciting practice but it has its own challenges.
That doesn't mean you cannot manage challenges and overcome difficulties. These hurdles can be related to emotions, jealousy, and insecurity. If you are an inpatient person, anticipating what can happen before it happens can be quite stressful. On the other hand, the physical aspect and acts can have their own challenges, when there is someone more experienced or "better looking", as these can lead to a block and you might not be able to perform at your best capacity.
People who practice swinging say that this has helped them explore their sexuality, and to be more open and non-judgemental about new experiences in the pleasure area.
Misconceptions about swinging
Aside from its advantages, swinging has also misconceptions, as many individuals think swinging means that you don't find your partner attractive anymore. But this is only a myth and it's not real. Swinging is about shared experiences that are different than the ones you have inside a couple. But they can make your connection even stronger.
Some people find it easy to swing, but in reality, this isn't true either. It takes time and effort to find compatible swingers, especially because a lot of people are not committed to doing it or they change their minds at the last minute. Some imagine that they can have sex with whomever they want, but it is really not that easy.
Setting boundaries is crucial and also self-care. Plus, it's not always about the sex itself: you can enjoy just watching another couple, soft swapping, or sharing the same room - without having sex with the other couple. Ultimately, it's your decision! And if you're a newbie, we hope this article helped.